Koffee with Karna

(The camera starts with a high shot in a darkish room but quickly pans down and across as the lights fade-in. It zooms in to show a rather dapper looking Karna, wearing a steel-grey, open collar kavacha with a golden yellow pocket square)

Karna (to the camera): My first guest tonight, is the daughter of a king and a wife of many stalwarts but is equally famous in her own right. She’s been variously described as independent, assertive, courageous and a woman of substance. Her debut appearance as a heroine has reached epic status. Please welcome to my show tonight, the gorgeous – Draupadi

(Draupadi walks down an indoor staircase dressed in a fiery red, off-shoulder evening gown with a slightly low neckline. Karna gets up to welcome her and they air-kiss)

Karna: Welcome to your first appearance in my show, Draupadi. Thanks for coming.

Draupadi (settling down on the couch): Well, since you had come to my ‘show’ many years ago, I guess I had to return the favour. But I’m very excited to be here.

Karna (laughs): Well, I haven’t forgotten that day, you know. But we won’t talk about it tonight. I notice that you’ve discarded your usual sari for a stunning bold dress. Do you feel safe in such ‘non-extendable’ clothes? I mean if you had been wearing this on the fateful day, Krishna may have a problem adding gown after gown. Its not designed for such stuff. (smiles)

Draupadi: Thanks. You men are always correlating safety with clothes. And you make jokes about it. It’s just the way your mind works. Anyway they told me your close friends, Kauravas, aren’t going to be here tonight. So I guess I should be fine. And I know I am very safe with you, Karna. (winks)

Karna (with mock embarrassment): You’re the one who’s supposed to spill the beans on this show, not me. Let me start off by asking, what did you think of your debut role?

Draupadi: It was a great experience. They don’t write too many epics with substantive roles for women. Normally the women are expected to just follow the hero or get kidnapped just so that the hero can come to save her in the climax.
So when Vyasji approached me with the script, I loved it. It was what I call a multi-layered epic. I’m so happy that it’s done so well at the box office. It shows that the audience tastes are maturing.

Karna: But despite having played such a strong character you’re not considered a role model for young women? How come we have thousands of Sitas but not many name their daughters after you?

Draupadi: Well, I don’t really know, Karna. I do think about it sometimes. I know Sita is very talented and has a great fan following. I am not comparing, but I find her roles very passive. She is what she is because of Ram. And yet what you say is true. It’s a reflection of our societal attitudes. I think we find it easier to glorify women who are submissive and silent even when they are victimized, but are reluctant to accept an outspoken lady in similar situations. The men feel less threatened that way.

Karna: You think the fact that you have multiple husbands and that they themselves have other wives has something to do with it. The ‘our culture’ thing, if you know what I mean.

Draupadi: Could be. Also, that they gamble. And drink. People are judgmental about these things. But in the end, I’m happy that they at least come across as real people with human failings and strengths.  But to each their own. I’m not in the No 1 rat race and you know that. (smiles)

Karna: That’s an honest answer.

Karna (to the camera): I’d like to now invite my second guest tonight. The most popular and yet the least understood person of our times. Even calling him a ‘person’ is perhaps confusing. Sometimes a man, sometimes god and sometimes even a godman. He’s a director, actor, friend, philosopher, guide as well as an author. His ‘Do-it-yourself’ guide to living has been on the top of the bestseller list. Please join me in welcoming to my show tonight, the scion of the Yadav clan, the all-in-one – Krishna.

(Krishna enters smiling beatifically, wearing a crisply starched cotton pajama kurta with a black half-sleeve jacket with the buttons open in front, looking like a politician from the northern regions)

Karna (to Krishna): Before you came we were talking about Sita. Now we can talk about Gita. You know ‘Sita aur Gita’- Hema Malini, he he (The joke falls flat. Krishna just continues to smile).


Karna (to Krishna): Tell me Krishna, what made you act in the epic? Was it something you always wanted to do from childhood?

Krishna: Not only from childhood. From my previous births. And it was not my want. It was my destiny. My karma. Anyway, on earth we are all actors. We are acting all the time. Even when we do nothing we are still acting.

Karna (with mouth open impersonating a goldfish): Uh? ok.

Karna: But how did you get cast for your role. You were not from the industry – not a star child, or anything like that. Did that matter?

Krishna: No, never. If you’re good, or trying to be good, it doesn’t matter what your lineage is. Only how you act matters. And even more than acting what matters is your intent.

Karna: But it does matter Krishna. If Draupadi had known that I am a star-child she wouldn’t have…. (bites his tongue as Draupadi looks at him suddenly).

Draupadi: What was that? What is it that I should’ve known?

Karna: No, nothing.

Karna (turning quickly to the camera): In conversation with two hot, intelligent people who’ve seen the world of epics from within and without. Lots more coming up on the other side of this break. Stay tuned.

(This blog was first published in the collaborative blog - Omnium Gatherum on 1st Mar 17)